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Why Don’t Women Big Up Their Bodies?

By admin
Posted on 18 Nov, 2020
Why Don't Women Big Up Their Bodies?

You’re gorgeous as you are. So why not celebrate that fact?

By : Matt Rudd

Imagine the following unlikely scenario. An estate agent is showing you around your dream  house. It’s perfect , you say. (you’re so excited you forget to play it cool.) “I want it.” As far as you’re concerned, this is the sexiest house you ever seen. But rather than licking his lips  and whipping out a contract the agent looks worried.

“Are you sure?” he asks.“I mean, isn’t it a bit saggy? Look at the bedroom. It’s a bit rubbish. I used to sell much better houses, but I’ve really let myself go?”
Ladies, you are that estate agent. The perfect house, if we might take the analogy too far, is your body. When you, ahem, show us around, you’re doing it all wrong. “Oh, god, I used to be able to fit into these jeans” you say. Or, “Oh, Christ, look at the bags under my eyes.” Or, “Oh, Jesus, my boobs. Look at them!”

We look. I promise you, we look. Being invited to look at breasts For free with no conditions or penalties is, Frankly, one of life’s brilliant little treats. But then you say, “They’ve drooped. They’ve shrunk.
They’re like tiny, saggy, boiled potatoes? And we are now ordered to confirm that, yes, your breasts – the breasts we Fell in love with shortly after we Fell in love
with your personality, and which look perfect to us – are actually boiled potatoes. And then you turn around and start attacking your bottom. Which, by the way, we also thought was perfect.

As it happens,I moved house last week.
And my wife Harriet, who I think is even
more beautiful now than when we met, did her reverse-estate-agent act. Amid all the packing boxes,l Found an old photo album. There we were in our twenties, all carefree and unmarried. And I made the schoolboy error of saying,“I remember that dress. Very cute.” “That’s because it was before I had kids,” she said, immediately hurt.
“No, it’s because it was a cute dress,” I replied. “Besides, you’re more attractive now. Your Features have softened.”
OF course, my clumsy attempt at the truth just compounded the initial mistake. Harriet’s face is more attractive than it was, honest. But ‘softened’ means ‘Fat’ in woman/estate-agent parlance. So she spent the rest of the house move looking in mirrors, working on her
unfounded paranoia.
Why? Why do women do this? I had to know. Eventually, Harriet admitted it’s a reassurance thing. When she says she looks fat/ugly/saggy, I’m supposed to say she doesn’t. Simple. Except it isn’t simple. It covers similar territory to our ongoing‘I love you’ argument. Apparently,l don’t say it enough. I point out, quite reasonably, that I have said it already, that nothing has changed and that I will say so when it does. The status quo is that l love her, ergo there is no need to keep saying it.
She doesn’t hold with this brilliant logic.
But I’d counter-argue that pointing out your (imagined) faults to elicit reassurance is totally illogical. I consider myself married to someone way out of my league. Most men do. We probably don’t make that clear often enough, but that doesn’t mean we’re not thinking it.

But, despite that, if you tell us enough times you look fat or wrinkly or saggy or wobbly or flabby or pale, it starts to have an impact. It’s what psychologists call ‘normalization? Comparing the market is simples, Coco Pops always turn the milk chocolatey and your bum does look big in that. Only it d0esn’t.
My plea? Bin the bad estate agent and go classic hard sell. “Look at this well-appointed conservatory; look at that top-spec kitchen; check out the beautifully manicured garden.”
Hmm. . . maybe not the last one.

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